Paint pot pink... how decadent

Oh for the love of Jeebus... How busy can a person be? Very, it would seem. I've been keeping busy all week. Just yesterday I was translating wedding invitations from Korean(!) to Swedish. I'm not hired to do that, but work has hit somewhat of a dry spell and all of last week. No I take that back, the second half of last week was a complete and utter desert. Workwise. Speaking of deserts, made me realize that I'd really like a dessert. But I'm trying to avoid them a while. I've been watching my back a while now... thinking someone would sneak up on me and put a cow bell around my neck and tag my ear. Yes, that's how fat I've become people. I'm afraid some farmer will think I'm a stray cow and take me home to his herd. Do cows come in herds by the way?
I'd like to think they do. If sheeps can why couldn't cows... right?! Who's on board with that idea?
So instead of working I'm wasting time thinking about how and when I'll end my painting project. In all fairness it takes time to achieve perfection but a week is a little much none the less. I'll add some pics as soon as I feel ready to do so.
I have a new dishwasher standing in my hallway. It's been there for over a week now. Still haven't gotten around to installing it. So instead I had to do the damn dishes manually, which is a strain on my fatass body. I'm no longer friends with it.
Also I've realized that I might have to cut back on the smoking. Which sucks major balls, but the deed has to be done sooner or later. Oh... I will be cool no more. That's the only reason I smoke... Because it makes me look so damn hot and eligible. Haha. No, but all that aside it really screws up my lungs. I can't stomach a flight of stairs. Meaning I can't eat a flight of stairs... Or something in that general area of expertise.
No, I haven't been drinking but later on when I've mask taped the walls I will kick back with a much deserved glass of red wine. In all my loneliness.
For all the single people out there that's a great tip. Sit home a Saturday night knocking back wine alone, practically constitutes a relationship Yeah... I'm going to be alone for a LONG time.

Wait... who said that!?

/Bell

Tonight, I want to lay it at your feet

Damn KISS and their awsome song: I was made for loving you! I can't imagine a better song at the moment. And what a moment it is! A moment of true bliss.
For some reason, as I was standing on my balcony smoking a cigarette, I didn't quite enjoy, I realized just how blessed I am!
Sure, Marcus and I are no more. But thus far there has been no regret! None. A few tears have been shed, but that was more out of obligation rather than sadness.
Yes, people. Oh my dear readers. I'm really happy about the choices I've made. In all respects of my life. Sure enough there has been, more than a few, bad ones. But they too have shaped a life that is very much worth living!
I'm going to have myself a glass of red wine. Enjoy a great smoke and continue a marathon of happyness all through the night.

/B

My hands are tied...

I was hoping to love him. I was hoping to go back to that place again. But I can't help to think that I've given him the best of me and gotten nothing in return.

Maybe I want to much... or maybe, just maybe I've not gotten anything. At all. He's off doing whatever it is that he does. Good for him. I lost a good man, because of him. But I suppose being a singelton isn't all that bad. When you get used to it at least.

I need to find serenity in me. Peace and quiet... I needed to lose weight, I lost him and with that I became 200 pounds lighter.

Soon I'll deal with the smoking and then I'll get on with my life. I need a hobby and new people in my life. But first, I need to untie my hands. And get on with all...

But you can't judge a book... looking at the cover. You can't love someone while messing with another!

-Lester

Under the boardwalk

I read about some movie being made about monopoly... how weird is that? They must me short for ideas when they're makig movies about board games. Smooth move.
So anywho, I'm in the north par of Sweden as a part of a punishment. Sometimes I like to play pranks on myself. You know, to keep me on my tippy toes. So here I am... I kne this was coming and yet I payed to sufer. Kudos on that, eh?
I payed for a 4 hour trip that was sure to end in dissaster. But at least I know for sure now. I'm like those kids that has a parent who's told them that something is very hot but they themselves had to be damned to try it out themselves. You know it'll be damn hot based on past experience and the fact that everyoe's told you at least twice not to do so.... but you just have to try it on for size... Oh well. Who's to blame here?
Genes. Bad genes, that's what I'm blaming. The inability to learn from past experience. Man does that suck.
Now I'm tired, hungry and freezing to death. How great will this New Years be?

Filth

I'm not a racist. By now it's common knowledge, but still these e-cards crack me up!

-B

Breathing your love?

You know what, I've tried to get that damn song out of my head all day long. But I can't for the life of me stick to something better or more interesting. So Darin stuck to my brain like shit to velcro this morning and I've been humming it all day. That crappy ass song to which I don't even know the lyrics.
So, what's new? Nothing... nothing new ever happens in casa de Belms. Time seems to be standing still in all aspects of living except my weight that seems to have no god damn boundaries. It's living it's own life. One day I'll get on the scale and be embarresed the next day I'll have lost 5 pounds, just like that. I don't know whats wrong with my damn body.
Aunt Flow (yeah... I had to go there) hasen't paid me a visit since early this summer meaning if I wasn't fat I'd be pregnant. But I am fat and that sort of settles that.
So... besides that I' sitting in Marcus' apartment watching his back as he sits by te other computer and I realize that this man is seriously hot. I can't help it. I really do love his looks. And yes, I have that crazy legfetish. I'm weird that way I know, but I love a man with good thighs. :D Not one of those damn skinny men, looking like women or little boys or what have you. And while on the topic, why do men and women look so damn alike these days? Skinny, pale. Malnurished little saps thinking they're fashionable and then dying from massive organ failure at the tender age of 25 or thirty.
Morons, the heap of you. I'm upset. Skinny people upset me. And short people scare me. I don't trust short people. They're always up to something. Big, fat people are never bothered by stuff. You won't see a fat guy get enraged for no reason. Skinny people and those people under 5'9" are always busy... And angry. Seems they need to be fed.
I beg of you; PLEASE FEED THE MODELS.

Damn Darin, making me all wound up. Not hot. Not hot at all. I'll go bother Marcus for a while now.

/B

Hit the lights please

So yeah, I'm doing a 50's make up today. The lighting in my bedroom is a killer but I'm just trying to set the mood for tonight.
Yes, that is my blanket posing as an impromptu dress. Very stylish if I may say so myself.
Yesterday I saw a Seth Rogen movie, today I'll join friends at the movies to see yet another one. I effin love that man more than I do rolo. And you all know I'm a fan of rolo.
So, anyhoo. Marcus is back, and in full force. Missing me. Making me confused, and more often than not a bit frisky. Which is stupid because I thought for sure we had found our ending and that we both had made peace with it. Oh well. We'll se how this'll end. Probably in tears. I'm not sure whose.
It'll all be swell... I'm looking forward to a ride of a life time. But I'm always on the prawl for those rides. I just love me a nice ride. I guess I'm just that kind of people. Why have peace and quiet when you can have drama?! Oh, that's just the actress in me talking.

Well, loved ones. I need to get my hair did before leaving the house. Have fun, guys. It's mother fucking booze time. Well, for some. Me... not so much.

/Bell