My dick

Namaste

So yeah, I've spent a nice weekend alone in my very filthy apartment. My cat Oskar is a filthy pig, he acts like a drunken midget. Pissin all over the place, leaving messes everywhere. It's like having the tazmanian devil in your house. It's all fun and games but every day is a new day in which I have to clean his messes up. It's quite tiring.
I had to stop writing for a moment to get my Sunday treat. This Sunday I'm having a kaktus/lime/lemon drink (sans alcohol) and frosen cubes of mango instead of ice cubes. I have to get my eating in order so I'm trying to treat myself with foods that aren't chocolate or red meats. Since those two are no good for you, I've noticed.
Anyhoo, I've noticed that my patterns are quite screwed up and backwards. During the weeks I'm never home so during the weekends I make up for lost time and stay home. That's a bit backwards if you ask me. And to be uite frank, I haven't been out dancing for a good two years. These last two with Marcus have been killer ones. Not in a positive sense, but rather negative. I sort of lost my spirit and that sucks big time, and I know you guys will agree.
My self-esteem has been all over the place since we got together and I don't quite know why he makes me doubt myself. But he does. Still. And now I'm taking back control.
Now I have some music to listen to and maybe catch an episode or two of Family Guy. Sweet :D

/B

Ey yo va' händer mannen?!

Oh yes, I too speak Swedish. However, I shalln't type it so much here. My left eye hurts like hell, and I came back from Norway this evening slightly broke and sick and tired of all.

Now I need my sleep. I needed it a long time ago.

Off I go.

I don't quite know why... I suppose it's that time of year... but I'm stuck in the past... music wise that is... So I figured I had to share. This one's on me... Enjoy!













Oh yeah and one final one... This one cracked me up bigtime!



/Bell

Paint pot pink... how decadent

Oh for the love of Jeebus... How busy can a person be? Very, it would seem. I've been keeping busy all week. Just yesterday I was translating wedding invitations from Korean(!) to Swedish. I'm not hired to do that, but work has hit somewhat of a dry spell and all of last week. No I take that back, the second half of last week was a complete and utter desert. Workwise. Speaking of deserts, made me realize that I'd really like a dessert. But I'm trying to avoid them a while. I've been watching my back a while now... thinking someone would sneak up on me and put a cow bell around my neck and tag my ear. Yes, that's how fat I've become people. I'm afraid some farmer will think I'm a stray cow and take me home to his herd. Do cows come in herds by the way?
I'd like to think they do. If sheeps can why couldn't cows... right?! Who's on board with that idea?
So instead of working I'm wasting time thinking about how and when I'll end my painting project. In all fairness it takes time to achieve perfection but a week is a little much none the less. I'll add some pics as soon as I feel ready to do so.
I have a new dishwasher standing in my hallway. It's been there for over a week now. Still haven't gotten around to installing it. So instead I had to do the damn dishes manually, which is a strain on my fatass body. I'm no longer friends with it.
Also I've realized that I might have to cut back on the smoking. Which sucks major balls, but the deed has to be done sooner or later. Oh... I will be cool no more. That's the only reason I smoke... Because it makes me look so damn hot and eligible. Haha. No, but all that aside it really screws up my lungs. I can't stomach a flight of stairs. Meaning I can't eat a flight of stairs... Or something in that general area of expertise.
No, I haven't been drinking but later on when I've mask taped the walls I will kick back with a much deserved glass of red wine. In all my loneliness.
For all the single people out there that's a great tip. Sit home a Saturday night knocking back wine alone, practically constitutes a relationship Yeah... I'm going to be alone for a LONG time.

Wait... who said that!?

/Bell

Tonight, I want to lay it at your feet

Damn KISS and their awsome song: I was made for loving you! I can't imagine a better song at the moment. And what a moment it is! A moment of true bliss.
For some reason, as I was standing on my balcony smoking a cigarette, I didn't quite enjoy, I realized just how blessed I am!
Sure, Marcus and I are no more. But thus far there has been no regret! None. A few tears have been shed, but that was more out of obligation rather than sadness.
Yes, people. Oh my dear readers. I'm really happy about the choices I've made. In all respects of my life. Sure enough there has been, more than a few, bad ones. But they too have shaped a life that is very much worth living!
I'm going to have myself a glass of red wine. Enjoy a great smoke and continue a marathon of happyness all through the night.

/B

My hands are tied...

I was hoping to love him. I was hoping to go back to that place again. But I can't help to think that I've given him the best of me and gotten nothing in return.

Maybe I want to much... or maybe, just maybe I've not gotten anything. At all. He's off doing whatever it is that he does. Good for him. I lost a good man, because of him. But I suppose being a singelton isn't all that bad. When you get used to it at least.

I need to find serenity in me. Peace and quiet... I needed to lose weight, I lost him and with that I became 200 pounds lighter.

Soon I'll deal with the smoking and then I'll get on with my life. I need a hobby and new people in my life. But first, I need to untie my hands. And get on with all...

But you can't judge a book... looking at the cover. You can't love someone while messing with another!

-Lester